Currently browsing category

Santino Marella

Could You Imagine THIS Guy Main Eventing Wrestlemania? (Part 2)

A few days ago, we took a look at a few current WWE Superstars and his potential to one day become a permament fixture amongst the chandelier that is the professional wrestling main event card.
Contrary to all the haters out there, World Wrestling Entertainment has the same hierarchy that the NBA, MLB, NHL or NFL does; there are your elite performers, steady vets and of course, rising stars. Here, we take a second look at a few wrestlers in that last category, analyze their qualifications and if indeed they have the chance to main event the superbowl of wrestling, Wrestlemania, any time soon.

The Miz
Qualifications: 1x WWE champion. 3x WWE tag team champion, 2x United States champion, 2x World tag team champion, 2010 Money in the Bank winner, #1 PWI top 500 singles wrestler in 2011

TRL: I am well aware of the fact that the Miz main evented Wrestlemania 28 against John Cena AND won. Yet, his retaining his title was merely a subplot in the Rock/Cena hierarchy , and his standing in the company hasn’t been the same since. More accurately, over the past few months, the Miz has become a laughing stock in the wrestling community. Ever since he

failed to catch R-truth on RAW back in February, I don’t think he has won one match since. By comparison, Brie Bella has more victories in that span and the Bella Twins aren’t even in the company anymore.

However, there are some positives for the Miz. He was valued highly enough by Mr. McMahon to be the lead in the WWE’s film The Marine 3. His mic skills and wrestling ability have greatly improved since his debut. I think it’s going to take some time, but I could see The Miz back in the main event scene in the future. I personally do not think he deserves to be there, but it appears somebody backstage thinks highly of him…but maybe not as much as I do. The Miz went from being a hardcore wrestling fanatic, to WWE champion. I’m only 27, so quitting my day job, giving my money to Lance Storm’s Wrestling Academy, Shawn Michaels’ Wrestling School (or begging Bret to reopen The Dungeon), and hoping for the best isn’t out of the question. Thanks for the potential inspiration dude!

KOBEsh: I’m echoing a lot of the sentiments that TRL stated; it’s not so much that the Miz main evented Mania last year – it’s that he looks like he’ll never even sniff that type of success ever again. His strengths are obvious: he is a tremendous speaker, perhaps one of the best in the company, or even in the business. He’s a bit more than competant in the ring, but his mat acumen is even more impressive if you watched him develop from the stiff wrestling novice he was several years ago. However, what the Miz truly lacks of twofold.

1) Depth of character: Yes, he is the Miz and at times, he’s awesome. He’s an arrogant braggart who’s defeated John Cena at Wrestlemania and represents supposedly “must-see” WWE television. But…what else? What’s his mission? To be must-see, to prove the haters wrong, or to win the WWE title? Does he aspire to be one of the greatest of all-time, or merely just a guy who spikes ratings for a week? The problem with the Miz is that I don’t know which one of these guys he is, if any. I’ve never known why he’s fueding with anyone, nor have I found any of his motivations particularly compelling. There’s a lot to work with here; perpetual underdog, who is constantly fighting for his skill set and accomplishments to rise to the level of his arrogance. He wants to prove that he’s the best because Read more...

WWE for an NBA Fan – Central Divison (Part 3)

The Central Division is the worst in the NBA. Even if all the marquee free agents were evenly distributed amongst Cleveland, Indiana, Milwaukee and Detroit, at best this would be the second worst in the league, ahead of the hapless Atlantic Division. We’re potentially looking at 5 teams in which only 1 might make the playoffs. For all of our hoophead brothers in the Midwest, I can see how a once-nuclear winter has now only morphed into a just a really, really long one.

So why would you follow exclusively the predictable and inevitably disappointing journey to a 8th seed playoff team and a 4 game sweep by the vengeful Heat, when you could instead follow the scripted greatness of the WWE?

In the next of my 6-part series, here are the best possible comparisons I could come up with for these 5 NBA fan bases. I matched up the characteristics that defined, say, Deeeee-troit basketball with the professional wrestler that best personified the culture and history of these storied teams.


Cleveland Cavaliers
WWE Comparable: Santino Marella

The Cavaliers are coming off an unbelievable run that included the best record in the NBA and a Finals appearance. This was, without argument, the greatest stretch in Cleveland sports history in the last 10 years, and with the 2-time American champion Indians of the 90s, one of the greatest squads since Jim Brown’s Cleveland Browns teams in the 1960’s.

But then came The Decision. Without the need to rehash old history here, the hapless Cavaliers limped through the 2010-2011 season to 19 wins and 63 losses, while setting the record for longest losing streak in NBA history. I can’t even define this as adding insult to injury; this is like a roast at a Holocaust memorial. Just terrible. Like that line.

So Cleveland, for you I’d prescribe a WWE Superstar that will be entertaining, but not nearly important enough for any potential investment and emotional distress. The 2011-2012 season isn’t going to be much better than last year – even with the addition of Omri Casspi, rookies Kyrie Irving and Tristan Thompson, this will be a largely undersized squad with two vets (Antawn Jamison and Baron Davis) that likely won’t be there before the trade deadline is up. Cleveland, what you need is someone to give you a few lighter moments in yet another season of despair. You need someone to keep you laughing while your basketball team is going to murder your heart…again. You need Santino Marella.

Santino Marella is an undersized professional wrestler from Canada masquerading as a Italian import. He was dubbed the “Milan Miracle” in his entrance to the WWE for his early upset victories over established Superstar Chris Masters during an European tour. He went on to hold the Intercontinental title but despite all his success, everything that Marella has accomplished during his time in the WWE has been done with a humorous slant. Though I cannot deny my own love and admiration for Santino as a performer, the truth is that his holding of any title while playing his clownish, arrogant and smart-alec character only devalues that championship. He is a man who plays for laughs and when he’s not performing a match for comedy, is proficient enough in the ring to look like something of an actual fighter. After all, this is his finishing move.

You need someone to invest in with measured expectations Cleveland. At least for a few years. Here’s your man. Have fun. And only fun.

Indiana Pacers
WWE Comparable: Rey Mysterio

A couple years ago, ESPN’s 30 for 30 … Read more...