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Monday Night Raw Recap

Monday Night RAW recap: Long Live the King…Or Not

Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Announcers: King and Cole

Opening Segment

Leading up to RAW, we were lead to believe that HHH was going to start off show, and address his status with the company. You would think I would be thrilled when that did not happen. 

Unfortunately, we had to continue the CM Punk vs 62 year old commentator Jerry Lawler instead. 

CM Punk came out sporting a fresh cut, hearkening back to his new Nexus days. Or rather maybe he was trying to channel his inner Walter White. Punk went on to a faux apology, which was amazing. He ripped into King quite effectively:

“I’m sorry that to get into the WWE Hall of Fame all it takes is to beat a bunch of no bodies from Memphis.”

I hate this feud, but damn, that was a great opening promo (really though, how hard is it to get into the WWE Hall of Fame? Pete Rose and Drew Carey each have been inducted). The close was one of the best displays of unintentional comedy I’ve ever seen. After Punk challenged King to a fight later on RAW, Lawler’s rebuttal was just fantastic. 

Camera close up on Jerry Lawler

Cue Lawler dramatic face

Lawler: Hey Punk……I’ll think about it!

(As stale and repetitive as King has gotten, Michael Cole has been no better. Every week he seems to flip between being a heel or face announcer. One minute he’ll play it straight, the next he’s going off on how Sheamus is the Great White Cheater. All I want is consistency…and for Lawler and Cole to both get fired.)

Ryback vs Jack Swagger

Swagger got in one or two offensive maneuvers but it was mostly the Ryback show. The catch-22 creative has with Ryback is that they want to get him over with the crowd (which he has to a degree) but they don’t want the crowd to chant “Goldberg” at him. They tried keeping him on Smackdown in order to edit out the Goldberg chants/pipe in the “feed more more” chants. This was effective but keeping him on Smackdown limits his opponents to local jobber and Jinder Mahal (some might argue they are one in the same).

Bringing him back to RAW has re-opened the crowds ability to chant on live television. At least his opponents are gradually starting to get more respective. However he still has yet to beat anyone of substance, unless you count Stan Stansky and Arthur Rosenberg….which I do. The win tonight gives Ryback 26 consecutive wins on television. Wake me up when he wrestles someone the WWE actually cares about like Randy Orton or Sheamus.

Natayla vs Layla

Layla’s got some new entrance music. The lyrics consist of “I’m insatiable, I can’t get enough, I need to find a boy.” Combine this with “Holla, holla, holla” and “Let’s light it up” (which would be better suited for X-Pac…ZING) and you have some of the worst music by artists not named Chad Kroeger. Who is in charge of assigning theme music to the wrestlers nowadays? It can’t still be Jim Johnston, the man who gave us the greatest theme song in history.

As for the match, Layla wins with a kick to the back of the head. I like Layla, but I would like to see her title run come to an end soon. She’s not really adding much to the show by going out and having three minute matches. It would be nice to see Natayla Neidhart get a run with the Butterfly belt. 

After the match Vickie Guerrero entered the ring.  She talked about replacing AJ Lee because  she’s been acting in a manner unbefitting of an authority figure. So logically AJ Lee came out and double arm tackleRead more...

Monday Night RAW review: One week til Summerslam

Location: Dallas, Texas
Preface: Last RAW before Summerslam

RAW kicked off with a match for a change.

CM Punk vs The Big Show

I guess I need to get over the disrespect the WWE shows their champions not named John Cena. The champion needs to be introduced LAST. We saw this again in the tag team match later on with Punk coming out before John Cena. They are too set in their ways at this point, their ideology isn’t likely to change. 

As for the match, it was good while it lasted. Well, good for Big Show standards. For some reason Daniel Bryan inserted himself into this match, attacking CM Punk with no provocation. I love Daniel Bryan and want him to be on television at all times, but doesn’t he have a match with Kane at Summerslam? Kane wasn’t even on RAW last night. 

After the match Daniel Bryan attacked CM Punk and put him in the “No lock.” Then our all American boy scout John Cena came down the ring to make the save. AJ Lee gave us her best Teddy Long impression and told us that later on we would be getting a tag team match playa.

Big Show is only one of 3 men to hold all active WWE Titles. He is also the only man to have personally closed 3 Waffle Houses#RAWTonight

JTG vs Ryback

For those of you that do not know, last week JTG took to Twitter to announce his displeasure with the WWE. He talked about talent not getting paid properly amongst other things. I’m not saying he didn’t have a point or he wasn’t right in what he said, but as an employee of a publicly traded company, you simply have to know better than to air your grievances on Twitter. Some of you may mention CM Punk’s “shoot”. Completely different situation. They gave him a microphone, let him air it all out, and as he will tell you, he didn’t say anything he hadn’t already said to Vince McMahon’s face. The JTG situation is different. I’m honestly surprised he wasn’t fired. He’s not really used on television and lets be honest, he’s not that great of an in ring talent anyway. Expect JTG to continue to receive “Miz” treatment…that is if he’s even on tv and not given his walking papers. If I was Vince McMahon, I would have JTG work every house show in a 2 on 1 handicap match against Hardcore Holly and Bradshaw. Dude should be grateful he even has a job. 

As for Ryback, his “Feed me more” catch phrase is pretty over with the crowd. Still some Goldberg chants, but not as loud as they’ve been. Total squash match.
Heath Slater vs R-Truth w/Lil Jimmy

Looks like they ran out of legends to beat up on Heath Slater pretty quickly. R-Truth won a very quick match. I guess Heath Slater will forever be known as “enhancement talent.” 

After the match, Darren Young and Titus O’Neil beat up on R-Truth. I’m pretty sure they said Kofi Kingston was on tour overseas. I really do not know if this is true or not, but I don’t care enough to look it up. Well at least the tag team championship match at Summerslam is receiving a modicum of build up. I’m looking at you: Kane/Bryan, Intercontinental and US title matches. 

Sin Cara vs Tensai

I’m done with Tensai. I gave him a fair chance, I really did. I wanted to like him. He’s clearly a much better wrestler now then when he was known as the guy with the piercings and hairy back….but he’s not over… in any capacity.

I think it’s fair to say that I have some dislike for the Prototype, John Cena. But even his staunchest detractors


Monday Night RAW recap: HBK appreciation night

Location: San Antonio, Texas
Announcers: Jerry “The King” Lawler, Michael Cole

These three hour RAWs are killing me. I had my television on for the entire 3 hours, but I can’t say I really watched with intensity. Good for the Neilson ratings, bad for writing RAW reviews. You’re slowly going to see these reviews morph more into my RAW thoughts and much less on what actually happened in the ring.

RAW opening segment

I know it’s only been two weeks, but I’m out on AJ as the RAW GM. Bring back Laurinaitis, give it to William Regal or let Vince come back and be the owner of both shows. To me AJ has been nothing more than a Stephanie McMahon clone, a petulant child making decisions to please a whimsical audience. The WWE has bastardized her character in an attempt to capitalize on her mounting popularity. I don’t really watch Smackdown so I could care less that Booker T was announced general manager over there. And I suppose I could go the “anybody but Teddy Long, Vicky Guerrero or Stephanie McMahon route” but I’m not satisfied with AJ as the RAW GM. Give me Lord Steven Regal or give me death.

These were the best options?

To recap the segment CM Punk apologizes in the most condescending way possible. Cena comes out and gets creepy with AJ and the Big Show was in Mike Rupp’s words, irrelevant out there. Being the new queen of RAW interactive AJ gave us the choice of #PunkRey, #PunkMiz, or #PunkKane. Wow. What options. Where was #PunkLesnar, #PunkAustin, or #PunkFunaki? The WWE was obviously baiting the audience to choose Punk/Rey Rey. Here I am talking like the votes were actually calculated.

“You smell great.” John Cena, you creeper

CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio 

Solid match while it lasted. Can we stop pretending that Rey Mysterio is a heavyweight wrestler? Actually with all the weight it looks like he gained while he was away, he probably qualifies now. I’m tired of watching bigger wrestlers have to sell his offense. Does anyone remember his matches against Tajiri? All of them were total classics. Why? Because his offense was believable and smaller wrestlers can properly sell what he does in the ring. 

Rey Mysterio wrestles in a shirt the same way a fat kid wears one to go swimming. #RAWTonight

Wade Barrett promo

I’m going to be patient on this one and give Wade Barrett a second chance. Take my eyes (but not my shirt) before making me ever watch Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett in the ring again. 

Christian vs Alberto Del Rio

So after declaring that he would not wrestle again until his championship match, Del Rio immediately had a match on Smackdown and then again tonight on RAW. That’s a shame because everything he said was true last week. What is the point of having him wrestle annihilate Santino Marella on a regular basis, when he has a title match lined up at Summerslam. When you secure the number one or two seed, you rest your players at the end of the season. You don’t go all out against inferior competition. 

On another note, another RAW without a US title defense or any mention of it’s champion really. You would be better off throwing the belt in the trash at this point, it wouldn’t make a lick of difference. 

Christian deserves better than this. I thought I read somewhere that he is close to retirement. Give him one more title run on Smackdown and then let him retire so he can go hiking and kayaking with Edge in Colorado. Del Rio with the victory aRead more...

Monday Night RAW recap: Episode 1001

Location: US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio
Announcers: Jerry “The King” Lawler, Michael Cole

Preface: Tonight was the start of 3 hour RAWs. Last week we saw CM Punk stand by and allow the Big Show to attack John Cena after their championship match. We also saw CM Punk lay out the Rock with a flying clothesline; disrupting the most electrifying move in sports entertainment. Was it a full heel turn for Punk? Is he now a tweener? Answers to come.

Full Disclosure: I didn’t cover any of the backstage stuff that happened during RAW. I normally don’t cover the minor backstage interactions and with RAW moving to three hours, I really don’t have the time to address everything. Obviously the Daniel Bryan stuff was fantastic.

CM Punk promo

Wow, what a promo. What a way to start off RAW. CM Punk sat indian style Native American style on the announcers table while he confronted Jerry Lawler over what he said last week. Native American style = shit is about to get real. Jerry Lawler closed RAW last week telling the fans that CM Punk had “turned his back on the WWE Universe.”

I always find it interesting when wrestlers use knowledge they gained from actually watching the show. We rarely see this. For example, the CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Kane triple threat match at No Way Out ended with AJ Lee taking a bump off the apron. Kane got distracted and CM Punk capitalized with the GTS for the victory. After the match Kane carried AJ Lee to the back, but we saw her smiling at Punk in the ring, as if the entire situation had been orchestrated. You’re telling me that Kane didn’t go back to his hotel room that night and order the No Way Out replay?

So we learned that CM Punk watches RAW because he wasn’t happy with Lawler’s comments to close the show. Later on we learned that AJ Lee watched last week as well because she saw the men in white coats and called Daniel Bryan out on it. Going forward I want a precedent established. Either every “superstar” watches RAW and studies the tapes or none of them do. I dislike the ambiguous nature that surrounds this.

Back to RAW. CM Punk’s promo addressed everything we could have hoped for; Jerry Lawler’s stilted and hackneyed commentary, Dwayne showing up for one week and immediately being granted a title shot, and the focus of the show not being on the WWE champion. I was surprised at how quickly the audience turned on CM Punk. The kindergarten crowd let him hear it. He’s been your champion for the past 8 months, I think he at least deserves the opportunity to explain his actions.

I love how @CMPunk turning #HEEL just means he tells the truth!@WWE #Raw #FireJerryLawler

Moments after saying he hates to be interpreted Big Show came down to the ring. Rabble, rabble, rabble, Show vows to become next WWE champion.

John Cena, not happy that other people are getting attention, runs down and clears Big Show out of the ring while CM Punk calmly watched. The WWE missed an opportunity here for the two of them to have some interesting back and forth on the mic. The segment had already gone about 18 minutes, but it’s a 3 hour show now. I guess they needed to reserve enough time in the show for us to see Stephanie McMahon slapping Paul Heyman 3 times.

AJ Lee’s terrible music hit and she gave us our main event for the night. John Cena vs the Big Show with the winner facing CM Punk for his title at Summerslam. It was at this point that the creative team was faced with two clear choices.

1. Have John Cena become number

Monday Night RAW Recap: 1000th Episode

Location: St. Louis, Missouri
Announcers: Jerry “The King” Lawler, Michael Cole, Good Ol JR (for one match)

Tonight was the celebration of 1000 episodes of Monday Night RAW but maybe more importantly was also the start of three hour episodes for the foreseeable future. 
Hate to spoil it, but this was a pretty, pretty…pretty good show. Lots of nostalgia tonight and a lot of winks at the ridiculousness of past story lines. Hell, Mae Young showed up with a grown up hand representing her and Mark Henry’s lovechild (seriously). If the Big Bossman were still alive, there’s no doubt in my mind that he would have shown up with a Pepper doggy bag or tried to crash a funeral and drag a casket behind his police car. 

Let’s do this.
Amazing video package put together to start off the show. It encompassed a lot of the great moments in RAW’s history. I’m not ashamed to admit things got a little misty in this librarian’s household, especially at Mr. Yamaguchi telling Val Venis  “I choppy choppy your pee pee.

DX reunion 

We were promised DX would start off RAW so I was surprised when “No Chance” hit. I suppose if I was responsible for 20 years and 1000 episodes of a global entertainment entity, I would want to come out and soak up the “Thank You Vince” chants as well. 

HHH and HBK invited X-Pac, Billy Gunn and Road Dogg to join them in the ring. No love for the 9th Wonder of the World Chyna? Apparently she couldn’t get a night off of her new career as an “adult movie” star. It’s never the divas you hope for, I guess. 

It was really cool for DX come out and do their schtick, especially because you could visibly see that these guys all looked like they were really enjoying themselves and having fun in the ring. I’m glad this was more of an homage and nostalgia rather than HHH and Shawn Michaels trying to convince us they’re still cooler than everyone else on the roster at forty years plus. 

Damien Sandow showed up to interrupt the DX reunion. Really? I can’t totally crap on this because I’m always talking about how they need to push younger talent. It was the right idea to have a young star get a nice rub from being in the same ring as these “legends” but was Sandow the best choice? They couldn’t of had Ziggler come out and show Billy Gunn who is the true Mr. Ass? (Editor’s note: That’s what you wanted to see, dude?). Cody Rhodes wasn’t booked for the show, I feel like he would have been a better option than Sandow.

(Follow my own personal fantasy booking for a moment. You have DX come out. They do their DX thing. The crowd eats everything up. Have X-Pac, Billy Gunn, and Road Dogg leave first up the ramp. Then while HHH and HBK are posing on the top ropes, have Lesnar come in the ring from the crowd. Hit HHH from behind, nail HBK with the F-5, leave.You let DX get their moment in the sun and you immediately transition and greatly up the intensity in the HHH/Lesnar feud. We’ll get to our double dose of HHH later.)

Damien Sandow, following in the illustrious footprints of the Spirit Squad by interrupting DX only to get buried. #RAWTonight

Three on three tag team match featuring JR on commentary
Rey Mysterio Jr, Sin Cara, Sheamus vs Y2J, Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio

I love the WWE’s blatant racist thought process when forming tag teams. We have nothing for Kofi Kingston or R-Truth to do? They’re both dark fellas, lets throw them togeRead more...

Monday Night RAW recap

Location: Las Vegas, Nevada 
Announcers: Jerry “The King” Lawler, Michael Cole

Welcome to the recap of the 999th episode of RAW.  

CM Punk in-ring segment

Hot crowd tonight. Great opening segment with CM Punk and the Big Show. Another example of CM Punk elevating the talent around him; Big Show actually made sense on the mic. The calmness in which he addressed the heckling Vegas crowd was brilliant.

“That is rude, I have a point I am trying to make.” -Big Show

Big Show alluded to the fact that he will knock out CM Punk in their match up and John Cena will cash in his recently won  Money in the Bank contract. Effective verbal combat between the two, setting up the stakes for the RAW main event quite well. And it only took 11 minutes. Take note HHH.

Tag Team Championship match
Prime Time Players w/AW vs R-Truth and Kofi Kingston

Way to have Darren and Titus challenge for the titles the night after losing a non-title match up vs Epico and Primo. We are really supposed to believe they have any chance of beating the tag team champions? Of course not. I’m not saying the Prime Time Players should have won the tag titles last night. I’m saying it doesn’t make any sense for the WWE to have Kofi and R-Truth wrestle Hunico and Camacho during the Money in the Bank Youtube preshow and have your number 1 contenders, Darren and Titus, wrestle on the actual PPV and lose cleanly.
Kofi and R-Truth winning was logical, but where do Darren and Titus go from here? The WWE seems more adamant on pushing Epico and Primo. Which is fine, I’ll take Rosa Mendes over AW any day of the week. 

Eve Torres interrupting AJ and DB backstage was great. Why? Because she actually addressed Daniel Bryan’s actions in their tag match last week on RAW. It’s the small things that make me happy. Story line continuation is one of them.  

Zack Ryder vs Alberto Del Rio
Zack Ryder got in a few moves offensively but not many. Glorified squash. Ryder tapped very quickly once the cross arm breaker was applied. After the match Rey Mysterio returned from injury (suspension) to hit the 619 on Alberto Del Rio. 

Whatever. At least this gives Del Rio something to do now that Dolph Ziggler is the Smackdown Money in the Bank suitcase holder. I would have preferred Mysterio return and set Sin Cara on fire, but there’s still time. It’ll be good to have little Rey Rey back. 

@ZackRyder Finally had a match on #Raw tonight. And I finally pooped. #ItWasAGoodDay.

One man baaaaaaand segment
Rikishi vs Heath Slater 
Rikishi with the win. After the match he danced until the lights went out. When they came back on, Rikishi’s sons, the Usos, were in the ring. I was never a big fan of Rikishi. Aside from running over Stone Cold Steve Austin with his car, he never really accounted for much story line wise. However, it was a genuinely cool moment to see him share the same ring with his flesh and blood. I’m sure growing up they probably dreamed of winning the WWE title and celebrating in the ring with their family, but performing a memorized dance sequence was probably a close second. It was definitely something all of the them will remember for the rest of their lives. 

We’ve come a long way from having heavyset guys dance to get them over. On an unrelated note, stay tuned for Brodus Clay#RAWTonight

Mixed Tag match
Daniel Bryan/AJ Lee vs Miz/Eve

Possible Daniel Bryan face turn alert. Who is the most over person on the WWE roster r

Monday Night RAW Recap: Old School Jericho

Location: Laredo, Texas
Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler

Guest General Manager: Teddy Long (Ugh this outta be good)

Cena/Bryan/Punk/Jericho/Kane/Big Show in ring segment

Welcome to the 997th episode of RAW. It kicked off like any self respecting RAW should, with John Cena coming down the ramp to cut an electrifying promo. The other day I realized that John Cena is responsible for some of my favorite WWE moments over the past few years. To be honest, I’m not quite sure how I feel about that. 

1. Rob Van Dam vs John Cena One Night Stand 2006

2. CM Punk vs John Cena Money in the Bank 2011

3. Brock Lesnar vs John Cena Extreme Rules 2012

Say what you want about his wrestling ability, but he plays a hell of a foil.

Back to RAW action. Cena does his shtick for a while until Daniel Bryan minus ring entrance music interrupts. Everyone’s been trying to get their Daniel Bryan on recently, even Ohio representative “Mean” Jean Schmidt. Bryan gets meta with us and lets the audience know that he and John Cena have nothing in common, unless of course Bryan wins the title and Cena wins the Money in the Bank ladder match. 

CM Punk interjects. Gets the crowd involved with all the Yes! chants. 

Chris Jericho feels left out so he hit the ring. Classic Jericho ensued welcoming us all to “RAW is Jericho” as well as asking Bryan to kindly “shut the hell up.” Also, after tonight, none of the competitors will never eeeeeever be the same again apparently. That man knows how to sell a t-shirt. 

Kane gets involved, followed by an…insightful Jerry Lawler comment? “Not a lot of catchphrases for this guy, but a lot of victories.” Congratulations King, that was the first time I haven’t wanted to strangle you on commentary since 1999. 

“Welllll it’s the Big Show!” After Big Show’s music hits, all of the competitors in the ring start a full out brawl. 

Quick Money in the Bank prediction: Cena wins the RAW Money in the Bank match, challenges CM Punk to a match at Summerslam, becoming the first person to use the Money in the Bank contract honorably since Rob Van Dam 6 years ago. And he will be the first person to not win the championship when cashing in the contract. It has to happen sometime and Cena’s big enough and at the point where he does not need the title to be over.

Joe Nevills ‏@mibredclaimer

Punk, Cena, Bryan, Jericho. One of these things is not like the other.#Raw

Rhodes/Otunga, Titus O’Neill, and Darren Young vs Christian, Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi


This match was alright until it completely broke down and Titus and Young left the ring. I’m not a fan of the Prime Time players just leaving match ups. It’s a stupid gimmick that makes them look weak. These guys should be pushed as viable challengers to the Tag Team titles.

 As I said, they leave and are soon followed by Cody Rhodes, leaving only Otunga in the ring to fight 4 guys. 

To make the odds even worse Brodus Clay comes out and throws Otunga back in the ring. Why would that not result in a disqualification? Either way that leads to: sock puppet, killswitch, victory, grown men dancing with children. 

Alberto Del Rio vs Sin Cara

So Sin Cara was Teddy Long’s surprise? Talk about anticlimactic. Good Lord, I hope that man never throws me a surprise party. A real surprise would have been a Rey Mysterio Jr. return, fresh off suspension. 

Crowd chants “culero” at Alberto Del Rio, which is Spanish for…umm something Read more...

El Mariachi’s RAW Thoughts: The End of People Power

(KOBEsh: TheRawLibrarian was on leave Tuesday, probably watching old Shawn Michaels tapes and weeping. I’m not really sure, but he went more MIA than Ludwig Borga. Our boy and semi-infrequent correspondant El Mariachi stepped up with a first-hand account of Monday Night RAW, emanating from the pit known as the Nassau Colliseum)

Having been to the last two live WWE events – No Way Out and Raw – I can’t help but burst into “YES” chants, say “WHAT” after anything anyone says to me, and Pedigree every ten year old Cena fan I can find. My voice is shot, my ears are ringing, and I can’t get the stink of the Izod Center off my shoes. I tried to mask it with the hillbilly musk of the Nassau Coliseum to no avail.

But I’m getting ahead of myself here. All I’m trying to get at is that, it has been a hell of a two day wrastlin’ stretch and quite frankly, I’m “wrastled” out. So what do I do with my first moments of free time?

Write about wrestling.

In the past few months, the WrestleMania hangover has hit to the two brands hard. Ratings have been down thanks in no small part to the lack of cohesive story telling, incessant injuries and mind boggling booking of Vince and his crew. They’ve tried to rectify this through the heavy bleeding of
Raw over into Smackdown and vice versa but for the most part, the WWE is spinning its wheels right now with tons of top notch talent left to scratch their heads while the Funkasaurus rips off his pants and Aww Funk’s the Funkadactyls live in front of your children, on the USA Network.

Though this has been somewhat of a tough time to care about the WWE, there has been some great things to arise from the ashes of WrestleMania 28. Daniel Bryan’s presence permeates throughout the WWE and having been to the last two shows, I can tell you that the “YES” chant is here to stay. He has built himself into the most hatable heel on the roster and backs it up with some of the best technical wrestling the WWE has to offer. His match with CM Punk and Kane at No Way Out was one of two matches that were any good as well as his match with Sheamus on Raw last night. And with him, the horsefaced, quasi-sex-demon AJ has become one of the most entertaining parts of tuning into wrestling. Her turn from the innocent, doe-eyed girl to the sadistic, mask wearing, Harley Quinn has been the most interesting thing – and dare I say driving force – behind the WWE Championship power struggle (Full disclosure: AJ skipping around the ring on Raw last night in a Kane mask made me go outside and buy a “I Dig Crazy Chicks” CM Punk shirt, right then and there!)

There have been other things that the WWE has going for them. We have seen a glimmer of the future of the WWE throughout this time. Besides the NOS-induced rise in superstardom of DB, Dolph Ziggler has day in and day out shined as one of the brightest stars in the WWE’s future. After getting buried following his brief feud with CM Punk, Dolph has slowly but surely made his way to the forefront once more at No Way Out, albeit largely being due to Alberto Del Rio getting a concussion.

Dolph’s match with Sheamus at last Sunday’s PPV and his subsequent bout with Jack Swagger on Raw, have finally set things in motion for his star to rise. The pairing of manager Vicky Guerrero and Dolph has done tremendous things for both of their careers but it is time to move on to bigger and better things. After all, “It’s not showing off if you back it up”. Unless it&#… Read more...

Monday Night RAW Recap: It’s time! It’s time! It’s Vader time!

Location: Hartford, Connecticut
Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler

Tonight was a special 3 hour episode of RAW. This gave us a nice preview of what to expect when RAW becomes 3 hours permanently on July 23, 2012. More RAW, more review, same pay.

John Laurinaitis in-ring segment
Before Big Johnny could get his catch phrase out, “No Chance” blared throughout the arena, accompanied by the classic McMahon strut. Pretty hot crowd tonight that was total into Mr.McMahon’s return. I’m just happy they did this to lead off RAW and didn’t drag it out. 
Big “Fire Johnny” chant throughout the arena. You could tell Vince was in a jovial mood tonight, evident by his Zach Gowen reference and burial of the Big Show. If watching your boss tell the entire world that you haven’t been good since 1999 does not motivate you, nothing will. Vince is here apparently to give Laurinaitis a “performance review”.
Sheamus interrupts.
Calls Big Johnny the worst GM in WWE history (obviously that distinction belongs to Mike Adamle). Vince and Big Johnny need to be wary of the Sheamus curse, as none of his opponents from Over the Limit are even active right now – Jericho (suspension; from Brazil flag), Orton (suspension; Wellness violation), Del Rio (injury; concussion).
Sooooo we’re just going to ignore the fact that HHH “fired” Vince McMahon last year? Roger. Moving on. The hot Hartford crowd saved that segment. Mr. McMahon left in the Big Johnny’s Rascal and then proceeded to ghost ride it off the stage.
Somehow that fall looked a lot more dangerous when Zack Ryder took it in the wheelchair.
Sheamus vs Lord Tensai
This match couldn’t get any whiter
If the WWE wants people to take Tensai seriously, instead of TALKING about how much the former Prince Albert dominated over in Japan, put together a video package. Vince, you shelled out the money to allow CM Punk to use “Cult of Personality” and brought in Brock Lesnar for big money only to have him sit at home. Put together some funds to license a 1 minute video package of Tensai’s work in All Japan and New Japan.
In all seriousness, putting together a HOSS match is the most effective way to win Vince McMahon over. Quick but solid match between the two giants. Very physical.
Tensai ate him. RT @IanIsAMonster: Dear @JRsBBQ, whatever happened to Tajiri?

Teddy Long proposed a 4-way elimination match later on with the winner taking on Sheamus at No Way Out for the belt. This is great booking after being backed into a corner by Del Rio’s injury. Ziggler, Swagger, Christian, and Khali in an elimination match later on. One of these things is not like the others. One of these things doesn’t belong. The winner should be fairly obvious, but lets see if the WWE actually listens to the fans.
Back from commercial
Not sure what purpose Lord Tensai beating up his manager served. It killed any momentum RAW had going for it. The hot crowd fell deathly ill for the segment. I meant, silent…sorry.
R-truth interview.
Talks to a figment of his imagination, is hit with the Big Show’s punch. Big Show vs Kofi Kingston in a steel cage later on. Yawn.
Santino/Layla vs Ricardo/Beth Phoenix
Glam Slam
Who thought this was a good idea? Terrible, terrible match up. Santino never even entered the ring. And what is with male wrestlers stripping down other men in the ring? As stupid as it was, I did ge… Read more...

Monday Night RAW Recap: Oversaturated with Cena

Greenville, South Carolina

Announcers: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler


WWE Creative@WWE_Creative
Tonight’s show will open with @JohnCena, close with Cena, & whenever he’s not on camera everyone will be asking “Where’s Cena?” #RAWTonight

Michael Cole in-ring interview w/John Cena

According to WWE logic, ratings were down last week because John Cena was absent. The solution? More John Cena of course. Miraculously, the segment wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated: it was mostly Michael Cole as the voice of the IWC in calling John Cena “overrated.” The remark was obviously scripted, but it was still interesting Vince McMahon would allow an announcer to insult his golden boy. The result is John Cena vs Michael Cole later on Raw. It’s times like this when I question why I’m 27 years old and I still watch wrestling.

My first thought when Cena said he’s uninteresting and being shoved down our throats was that Cena was going to wrestle himself.

Sheamus vs Dolph Ziggler w/Vickie Guerrero

Ziggler looked pretty strong in this match up, finally being allowed to get in a good amount of offense against the World Heavyweight champion. In the end Sheamus got the clean win with his White Noise/Brogue Kick combination, and of course, Ziggler made the kick look absolutely devastating. 

I personally like Sheamus better as challenger than champion. But his title run is still in its inception so I will give it more time.  After the match Alberto Del Rio attacked Sheamus from behind. I got a good laugh at Ricardo Rodriguez getting involved and grabbing both of Sheamus’ legs. That’s a true manager.

Sin Cara vs Hunico w/Camacho

Pretty much a spotfest to put a returning Sin Cara over. The match just didn’t seem crisp to me – it looked like Sin Cara was hesitating before performing any of his patented moves. Hunico probably wasn’t the best opponent to sell Cara’s offense. Also I’m pretty sure zero percent of the South Carolina crowd understood when Hunico was taunting them in Spanish.

Ryback vs Arthur Rosenberg/Stan Stansky

Arthur Rosenberg sported some sweet Seneca Crane facial hair. To be perfectly honest, this was a damn impressive squash. Much like Brodus Clay, I do not know what more can be done with Ryback other than two minute squashes. I see a possible US title run in his future at some point. However, due to the way he is being booked, I have no idea if he can wrestle an actual match. Put him against someone who is not a member of the J.O.B. Squad. When The Miz comes back from filming The Marine 3, throw him in there against Ryback. Miz carried an extinct dinosaur to his first decent match, I’m sure he can do the same against Ryback.

WWE Creative@WWE_Creative
The one thing we can stay about Stanski and Rosenberg is that we’re pretty sure they could pass a Wellness Test. #RAWTonight

CM Punk vs Kane w/Daniel Bryan ringside

How many weeks in a row has CM Punk been in the 10:00 PM match? We’ve seen that in the eyes of management, the WWE Championship isn’t worthy of PPV main event status. That honor belonged to John Cena vs John Lauraitis on the most recent PPV at Over the Limit and John Cena vs Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules before that.  It continued tonight, CM Punk vs Kane gets midcard treatment while John Cena vs another non wrestler, Michael Cole, gets the main event. The fact that the WWE champion can’t even main event Raw is truly an embarrassment.

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