Currently browsing category

Evan Bourne

WWE for an NBA Fan – How to Survive the NBA lockout with the WWE (Part 1)

The nuclear winter. This is what so many NBA fans, writers and even personnel are referring to this lockout as.

We’ve covered our NBA lockout thoughts ad nauseam on MAMBINO. There’s really nothing left to say. Both sides think that they’re more right than the other. Each have pointed fingers, proclaiming they want a deal done, and every single ounce of their beings wishes they could be on the court right now. It doesn’t matter if I believe them or not at this point. I’ve accepted that we will not be having NBA basketball this year. Following the 2004-2005 NHL season, the 2011-2012 NBA season will be only the second full season of North American sports to ever be canceled in the 100+ year history of the 4 major professional sports. Congratulations, gentlemen. You made history.

But let’s not drink that half-full glass. Let’s look at it, and fill it up to the brim. We here at MAMBINO HQ have some ready-made alternatives for those of you hungering for another waste of time to completely invest your emotions in, despite the fact that you have no true impact on the outcome.

The answer here is the WWE. It’s the nuclear winter, after all. Why not eat those twinkies?

Being a lifelong professional wrestling fan, I know that for every offseason and All-Star break, there will always be the WWE to fill that sports void in my life. As the WWF catchphrase said about 10 years ago, “We Have No Offseason.”

Professional wrestling is not a perfect comparative to professional basketball. However, there are a lot of qualities inherent in the NBA, its game and its players that would make even the truest hoopheads apt to take up Vince McMahon’s trained traveling circus.

1) Basketball can be played one of two ways: with finesse, grace and coordination (think Magic Johnson’s passing, Ray Allen’s jumper, or Kareem’s sky hook) or through a brutally bruising and physical game (think LeBron’s moves to the rack, Shaquille’s post game or Bill Laimbeer’s elbows). The best basketball players will combine a little bit of both for what the experts would consider the perfect type of game.

Wrestling is no different. Stone Cold Steve Austin, one of the greatest wrestlers to ever live, said that in order to be a true champion, you had to look like you could kick someone’s ass. Look like. A great wrestler has to have enough finesse, grace and coordination to make the moves look crisp but painful. He has to be big and tough enough to use his power to throw another man’s dead weight around the ring, and yet also have enough toughness to throw himself around the ring and make his opponent look like Andre the Giant. The professional wrestling skill set is similar to professional basketball – precision and control, matched with a certain amount of physicality.

2) Who are the most popular players in the last 10 years? Shaquille O’Neal, LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson, Kevin Garnett, Dwyane Wade, Yao Ming, Dirk Nowitzki and Dwight Howard are amongst them. You know what all these fellows have in common? They all had characteristics that made them pop towards the audience. They each were either incredibly charismatic, freakishly proportioned or, in many of their cases, both.

The WWE is no different. Aside from the natural athletic talent it takes to succeed as a professional wrestler, there is a certain level of “freak attraction” needed to become noticed by an audience that constantly clamors to be amazed. For every Shaquille O&#… Read more...